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Polyamory – I don’t get it

September 5th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

For those of you innocent of the fashions in alternative lifestyles, polyamory is the practice of being in love with, and having committing relationships with, more than one person. It differs from open relationships in that there is more than just sex involved.

I don’t get it. Well, that is not strictly speaking true. I do get it. Who doesn’t at some point think about having your cake, eating it, and then get cuddled by it afterwards? Twice? Having one cake that likes foreign movies and one cake that likes long walks also seems tempting as an idea. Not to mention the savings one can make by living in a household of more than two adults who all have an income.

I still don’t get it. Perhaps because I am the jealous sort, and the fact that I get to have more than one pie to eat means that all those pies get to eat other pies too. And they will. Even putting aside my own rather childish lack of understanding of “sharing” (I had many sisters, it gave me a good sense of “mine” and “yours”), I have issues understanding..  well..  Logistics.

Polyamory seems totally impractical. From a calendar-management point of view. And from an organisational structure point of view. How do you actually organise the relationship-map? And how do you keep up. It seems like a year 2000 dot.com business nightmare with steady promotions, branching, people being made redundant..

And that might be it. Polyamorous relationships are good training for a position of HR manager or veryverybusy PA.

And it makes hilarious short films. (NSFW)

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  • http://www.polynorge.no PolyNorge.no

    You don´t have to get it. It functions for a lot of people. What makes a person a good polyamorous person, is the same as what makes a good monoamourous person. Keeping appointments. There is a little more of them in a polyamourous relationship and they are not so “automatic” as in a monoamourous relationship. If you have problems with one relationship, the solution is not just to add another. But the choice of two loved ones brings other gifts and require other skills. Not everyone is made for it, or is ready to take the steps needed to become a good polyamourous person. Nothing is better than the other, it´s just different. Some like vanilla or chocolate, others like vanilla and chocolate.